Grief

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Sad Plants

Sad Plants in July 2009

We had lots of rain in March, April, and May. Then in June we had virtually nothing. Consequently, my plants were not happy. Even the daphne was drooping badly.

So I got outside with the hose and gave them all a good dousing. They started responding in a few days.

A Loss

We grieve anytime we have a loss. I have just been reading Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge. This is the Wild at Heart book for women. They are talking in the chapter I’m reading that every woman has a beauty to unveil. And that she brings that beauty to the relationship.

While watering the plants, I was reminded about how much beauty Trudie used to bring to my life. She brought beauty through the plants she planted. She brought beauty through the decorating she did in the house. She brought beauty by bringing her own beauty to our relationship. Thinking about the beauty that is no longer here I got sad. I stayed sad for a number of days. It’s probably the closest I’ve been to actual depression.

Beauty Replaced

I took my sadness and pain to the Lord. He has taught me that He can handle anything I’m feeling. After a while, He taught me to look to Jesus to see beauty. I see beauty in His creation. I see His beauty in the variety of birds and animals. I see His beauty in the variety of plants He has put around me. I see beauty in His love for me that sustains me every day.

I’ve climbed out from my sadness. I know that I’ve lost a beauty but I am now more aware that there is so much beauty around me and that it is a gift from God.

Big Dogs Anonymous

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Hi, I’m Patrick and I’m a yip-dog hater,

“Hi, Patrick.”

I have to admit, I’ve had a relapse. I fell off the Big-Dog wagon.

But the yip-dog was so cute. And she snuggled right up to me. And she was soft. She was almost like a cat – in fact, my daughter has cats that are probably bigger than this dog.

It wasn’t a REAL dog. A REAL dog is a dog that you can body slam.

But I did stroke her. It was a “slip.”

I will take my white chip and pledge to only be friendly to REAL dogs from now on.

Rocky Mountain High

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Rocky Mountain National Park – June 2009

A Day in the Mountains
I took an extra day on my recent vacation and spent the day driving through the Rocky Mountain National Park. It as a great day. The weather was unseasonably cool. The high was about 65F/18C at the park entrance. But by the time I reached the summit, it had cooled down to 30F/-1C. The wind was really blowing. And when I was at the Trail Ridge Store it started snowing. It was great.

Emotional Ambush

I took my camera and, as I usually do, I took lots of photos. [Click the image above and it will take you to the web album of those photos.]

That night I downloaded them to my laptop and started to look through them. Then it struck me – I’m the only one in the photos. Boom. Trudie and I used to really enjoy traveling together. So my sadness was about not having my favorite traveling companion with me. This was a great opportunity to grieve another area of loss. Yes, it was tough – but I’ve learned that tough is part of the territory and that Jesus is walking with me.

So I let myself feel the sadness and I had a good cry.

I’m A Man

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The Beard Story Morphs

My first digital story was about My Bosnia Story. It was a project that I did during my Basic Digital Storytelling workshop.

My second digital story was supposed to be about shaving my beard and mustache after my having them for 27+ years. I wrote it and liked part of it but I was not satisfied with how it ended. Over the course of six months I would struggle with it and then put it back on the shelf again many times.

I got the chance to take the Facilitator Intensive Training offered by The Center for Digital Storytelling. This workshop gave us perspectives on how to facilitate a digital storytelling workshop in our environment.

So I brought my “Beard Story” to be mulled over by the collective of instructors and fellow facilitator trainees in a story circle.

I was asked deep probing questions about what was the story really about?

This was tough right-brain work that I’m not used to doing. Issues were being uncovered like “what makes a man?” and “do I know I’m a man?” and “how do I know I’m a man?”.

I rewrote it and then shared it again with my classmates and the lead facilitators. More layers of the story onion were probed and revealed. I rewrote it again.

Over the course of four days, the Beard Story morphed. It was hard work and my brain felt like mush but I really like this revised story.

Enjoy!

I’m A Man from Patrick Bartkus on Vimeo.

My thanks to Daniel, Amy, Kayann, Christina, Corinne, and all the great folks in our group last week.

Bosnia Trip 2009

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May 16th, 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

Last year I decided to go on a short-term mission trip sponsored by my church, North Point Community Church. I went to Bosnia and Herzegovina at the end of July. It was a great trip and God used it in my life to help me come to know Him deeper. We also made great friends with those doing ministry in that country.

This year I’ve decided that it will be good to go back. The ministry team in Bosnia and Herzegovina needs our encouragement and support as they try to bring the love of God into the lives that have been deeply scared by past war wounds. We will be working with the same team at the Novi Most Center conducting Youth Workshops for the week of August 16th – 24th. We saw last year how the hurts of the past are impacting the kids. They are living with the baggage of their parents and their grandparents. The Novi Most Center is bringing the light and love of our Lord into those hurts.


I need your help. I need you to be part of my team. First, of course, I need your financial support. The total cost of the trip is $2,600. I’m tossing in a chunk of change for it but I also wanted to give you guys the opportunity to invest in it too. If you decide you want to be a part of it you can make a check out to “North Point Ministries” and send it to me. Or this year, you can go on line and make a donation through the GlobalX web site. There are directions below.

But the main thing I will need is for people to be on my prayer team. I am going to need much prayer through this whole trip. I need my team to be in prayer before we go, to be in prayer while we are there, and to pray for me after we get back. There will be many opportunities for God-moments. And I will need prayer to make the right choice each time. I will need prayer to get what God would want me to show.

Would you please consider being part of my team this Summer?

Sincerely,

Patrick Bartkus

4911 Sturbridge Cres. NE

Roswell, GA 30075

Link to Bosnia Partner: http://www.novimost.org/

On Line Giving Instructions – Bosnia Youth Workshops

Go to www.goglobalx.org

Click on the “give” on the top right hand side of the page.

Fill in your contact information.

Select the “Short-Term Mission Trip” radio button.

Under globalX Trip Information:
– select –Bosnia– in the “Country” drop down
– select –Bosnia Youth Workshops– in the “Trip” drop down
– Type my name in the “Individual” field.

Fill in the Credit Card Information. (They accept Visa or MasterCard)

Click “Review Donation Information” and finalize your transaction.

A confirmation e-mail will be sent to you and will serve as your receipt to use for tax purposes.

Thank you so much for your generosity in supporting what God is doing in Bosnia.

Easter 2009

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Easter Sunrise Service – Stone Mountain

For many years, I used to go every Easter Sunrise Service service at the top of Stone Mountain Park. I even occasionally brought a few braves dates along. It was certainly the earliest date pickup on record (3:30 AM).

This year I decided to restart the tradition. So I left the house at 4 AM and walked up the mountain. I was there in plenty of time. I forgot 1) how rocky the walk up was, 2) how steep the final part is, and 3) how WINDY it is on top of the mountain. I took a blanket but it wasn’t near thick enough to stop the 44F/7C degree wind. Next year I’ll take a thicker blanket.

Here’s a link to my Facebook photo album.

Maytag Repairman Patrick

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Old Washing Machine was sick

Well it isn’t THAT old. But the agitator wouldn’t agitate. It would only sit there while the bottom part went back and forth, back and forth, etc. So I looked it up online and found a “agitator rebuild kit” and necessary grease. Total cost about $32. So I placed the order.

Today, I got around to tearing into it. It was not easy to find out how all the new parts fit together. But I did it. Now it’s happily washing away.

Hike in the Mountains

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Fusion Group hikes Raven Cliff Falls
Fusion is the environment at North Point Community Church where singles get together and do light Bible study and get to know each other.

This weekend our group went to Raven Cliff Falls. More pictures are here. We had a gorgeous day. The temperature was around 60F/16C degrees and it was bright and sunny. The falls were about 2.5 miles (4 K) from the parking lot. It was not a difficult trail but it did have a few “challenging” sections. Most if the trail was beside the mountain creek so it was very picturesque. It was a lot of fun.

Facebook – A God Send or of the Devil?

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Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated!

Hi, I’m Patrick and I’m addicted to Face Book [Hi, Patrick!].

Yes, I’m spending way too much time keeping up with the minutia of my friends lives. It is a time black-hole. It sucks up my time and never gives it back.

Why did I join?
I heard about how great it was from other FB-addicts. So I thought I’d try it.

At first is started innocently enough. I joined and put the minimum of personal information on there. I added a few really good friends whom I care deeply about. I then met new people at various singles events. So I added them. Then, FB showed me other people whom I may know. Why yes, I am sort-of friends with some of them, so I added them. Pretty soon, I had 50 “friends.” And then people started finding me, so I added them.

Now, I have 90 friends. Some post things I DO what to know about – these are the posts that keep me coming back and checking for more. These posts feed my addiction.

A lot of them rarely post anything. A few of the post a lot of stuff. Some I don’t even care about. I have even dropped a talkative “friend” or two that I got tired of listening to.

Videos
I can share videos that I like by posting links to them on FB. Other friends do the same and I spend time watching them.

Pictures
I love looking at friends pictures. I see people who are important in their lives. I spend time going through not just the pictures they are tagged on. I look at all the pictures in the album.

Events
Friends show links to events that they are attending. I evaluate the links and see if it is something I would be interested in. Maybe it is, usually it isn’t but I need to check it out. We have to keep our options open, you know.

Bottom Line

I want my time back. I am turning it over. I know there is a higher power who can restore my on line life to sanity. I have to continually turn my on line life and will over to Him who is able.

Drew is Home

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Finally Home Again!

Brother-in-Law, Drew, was released from the hospital on Tuesday evening. My sister, Millie, is ready for some relief. Drew’s brother, Casey, has arrived to help out.

Thanks everyone for praying!